When Someone Calls You the Wrong Name
April 28, 2026
by Candace Smith
The Etiquette Blog
Candace Smith Etiquette
Biography: Candace Smith, wife of Nobel Prize-Winner Professor Dr. Vernon Smith and owner of the extraordinary blog, “Etiquette for the Business of Life” as featured by BBC, Chicago Tribune and USA Today offers her insights.
“The unspoken rules that drive outcomes.”
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I was embarrassed when I realized I’d been calling a local store owner by the wrong name. I overheard another customer use her correct name and immediately apologized. She was gracious and said it happens all the time—but it left me wondering why she never corrected me. It reinforced something simple: your name is the first gift you’re given, and it deserves to be respected.
If you want to be called by the right name, you have to speak up—politely and clearly. The first time, keep it easy and direct: “It’s Marie, ending with ‘ie.’” Most people appreciate the quick correction and move on without a second thought. If you’re in a group, the same approach works—matter-of-fact, no drama.
If it happens again, add a bit more clarity. “John, it’s Marie, not Mary.” By the third time, it’s worth addressing one-on-one with a light touch—acknowledging the mix-up while reinforcing the correct name. Often, that brief moment of focus is all it takes to reset things, and even create a shared laugh that helps it stick.
Introductions can be messy, so quick corrections are your best ally. A simple “Actually, I’m Anne,” or “I go by Kimberly,” keeps things smooth without awkwardness. The key is tone—calm, confident, and good-natured. Push too hard and it feels forced; ignore it and it sticks. Get it right, and you strike the balance: respectful, self-assured, and focused on what matters most—building the relationship.
